Roller Coaster

I've been debating if I should blog now or wait for the ultrasound. Part of me wanted to wait until we have concrete answers to post anything, but then I may forget details if I wait. Since I'm sitting here doing nothing while Little E is in soccer I figured I may as well post. Any good luck and prayers we can get from this post would be well worth it!!

Monday we had our 3rd beta. I wasn't worried at all. We had great doubling time between 1 and 2 so that should have continued. 

13dp was 465 

15dp was 927

That is a 48 hour doubling time, which is perfect. 

To all of our shock 18dp came back as 1461. That's only a 110 hour doubling time, way above what it should be at this point. I was in an immediate panic wondering what that meant and googling like crazy.  I've been around the surrogacy groups for quite a few months so I know that a beta that doesn't double appropriately typically doesn't end well. It's just a very bad sign. The doctor decided we would have another beta Wednesday. I am ashamed to admit this, but I lost a good bit of hope at this point. I'm thankful that M and my friends and everyone around me was so supportive and they kept that hope alive for me.  I honestly didn't know what to say to my IFs at this point. I didn't want them to know that I felt this way but I will also never be dishonest with them. I think (they can correct me if needed) I did a decent job of being honest while trying to keep their hope up.

I went for my beta early Wednesday morning. I made sure to wear all of my good luck charms. I had left them off Monday and I think that was a huge mistake. Never again!  I had the sweetest nurse. When I told her what was going on she gave me hope. She offered me explanations that could end well. I'm so thankful for her and hoping she will be our nurse at the ultrasound tomorrow. 

Beta came back midday. 2573!!!  That's a 58 hour doubling time, which is better than expected at this point. I felt such a sense of relief after being over the disbelief.  When I plug in our first beta and last beta the averages come out in the normal range. This gives me so much hope!  

We are so excited and eager for this ultrasound tomorrow. Unfortunately my IFs can't make it here, but my friend will be there to help with FaceTime so they can see it all!!  It is still a little early to see a heartbeat, but I sure am hoping to. At the very least we are hoping to see a sac measuring correctly. 

I have been feeling pretty normal all week, which of course worried me. Maybe slightly nauseous here and there and hungrier than usual, but nothing major. Early on with every pregnancy my belly gets huge after eating and lasts until the next morning. It has been doing that! 

In other news, we close on our house in 2 weeks!!  Looking forward to relaxing in our new house and growing little POPCORN for the next 34ish weeks!